Abject Failure

It is not good. I am up so much. I ate whatever tasted good and didn't care about what I was doing to my body and in a few short days gained maybe six pounds. It is hard to say exactly how many because I stepped on the scale at 5 am, which is way earlier than usual. I am recommitted today, but it is going to be hard. I know what happened and I just let it.
I let my parents get to me. Mom or dad, if you are reading this, I am going to be blunt, so stop or be prepared. My parents both acted really selfishly on the day of Charlie's party. My mom did not make her travel plans until the last minute and I know it was because she didn't know what Aunt Carol was going to do, but then to arrive at the station 20 minutes before the party was due to start and needing a ride from the station was very selfish. I needed help with the party and don't understand why you didn't plan on the earlier train so you would be around instead of taking away one of the only people I had helping me to pick you up. You missed the graduation the least you could of done as a mom or grandma was to be around to help.
I still don't get why my dad had to choose that moment to feed Valerie's dog. He did help by getting the club house, even if he did it a week late and by helping with the balloons and picking up the food, but then he disappeared right when everyone was there and it was time to eat. He may have been being passive aggressive about the fact that we were not going to his picnic. He didn't seem too upset that we were not attending. I think he just didn't have a clue. He didn't realize it was a little more formal than our usual events, but he should have gotten that from the set up and the invitations.
Bob loves me, and my kids love me and it was a good party, but it just makes me so upset that I don't have better parents. I am afraid I am the same kind of parent. They don't have the skills to think about how their choices effect me, and I worry I lack those same skills. It is not rational, but if my own parents don't care about me then why should I care what I eat? Why shouldn't I eat whatever tastes good to me? Why should I care? Alfredo tastes good, chocolate satin tastes good, Almond Roca tastes good. All that goodness blots out the bad feelings and when I step on the scale I pay the price. I don't know why I let them get to me, I should probably get therapy.